if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
(via failedtextpost)
advantages of being a boy:
- your boobs don’t get in the way
- no period
- your hormones don’t make you feel like a different person every week
- no childbirth
- penises are fun
- shirts always fit over your chest
- you can walk around topless in summer without being arrested for it
- you store less fat
advantages of being a girl:
- can use your bra as an extra pocket
(Source: ad0lf-hipster, via allons-ycastiel)
“yeah im a lesbian trapped inside a man’s body” the cishet male laughs as he highfives one of his dudebros. suddenly he gives off a look of pure terror and a piercing shriek as his skin is ripped apart, much to the horror of his crew. his skin falls to the floor and a woman is left standing where he once was. “FINALLY” she roars, kicking one of the dudebros in the dick before running into the sunset in search of some hella fine ladies.
(via kidswithhats)
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
(via kidswithhats)
